Published by: Josephine Nicdao Carranza Sources of inspiration Quote written by : Ishani Kusmi Quora response written by : V Hari Narayanan Image from Pinterest :
Preception: a belief or opinion formed before enough information is available to form it correctly. Quora discussion: Quote - I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of preception
"The solution to the problem of sulking lies in healing the old wounds that make you vulnerable to a sulker. Once you do that, the sulker loses all of their power over you." Annie Kaszina
"Relationships in all areas of life, whether it be love, professional, friendship or family and friends, there are wonderful people who have certain personality traits that are difficult sometimes to manage. Sometimes they don't even realize their actions and that makes it harder to avoid that energy."
"We all inhabit different spaces: a home, a workplace, a family, a friendship circle… Some of these areas (like our friendships or work) are more open to our choices. Others, though, are not (like our families). They have a habit of ruining embarrassingly long stretches of our lives. They will – by nature – seem absurd to others for they are triggered by what are, ostensibly, very ‘small things’: the sink left a certain way, a remark about when to cross the road, an almost imperceptibly off-hand response to an apparently passing comment… And yet their consequences will be extreme."
"The idea that we are responsible for the actions of others isn’t strictly fair. However, I think it is possible to set a tone in a relationship that suggests you operate a certain way — and others may respond in kind."
1. Know your values
2. Get your listening ears on
3. Contemplate first, react second.
(easier said than done) - Word of advice :bite your tongue to avoid regret.
"Having to explain oneself is indeed the central problem: Which brings one to the odd privilege of being the recipient of a sulk: one only gets into a sulk with people whom one feels should understand, that is, people one respects."
"It is (also) one of the stranger gifts of love."
The most articulate person may simply not want to explain themselves in the confines of a relationship; Sulking pays homage to: wordless understanding.In an ideal world, we would more readily recognise (when we can manage a compassionate mood) the comic aspect of sulking – even when we are the special target of the sulker’s fury and rage.
People didn’t sulk much before 1800 – because they didn’t have high expectations of being understood deeply, and intuitively, by others. It was people like the romantic poet, Shelley who incited sulking, because they promoted the idea that relationships are based on special insights into one another’s characters achieved without conversation.
The sulk can be overcome when this insane, touching ambition reveals its comedic dimension. We are then in a position to laugh, not because we don’t care, but because we understand (how crazy the conversation has become).
We grasp the real suffering beneath the horrible exterior, we see that our adversary is hurt not mean, and are struck – once more – by how oddly human nature is arranged. But because we understand, we are no longer frightened or angry in turn. The furious, hopeful, deluded absurdity of our sulker's trouble makes us gently smile."
- Quotes are excerpts of the Book of Life - The School of Life, founded by Alain de Botton.
Key considerations of emotional intelligence:
Image from school of life.
Source image from medium.com